So, the truth is that a few weeks before I went to America, I stopped training after a back injury. Then I was in the States and I returned nearly 6 weeks ago and I’ve still just gained weight. In fact, I’m now in that horrible position when I’m scared of getting on the scales. I haven’t exercised and I’ve discontinued my gym membership (thank got for no-contract deals)

And I fucking hate myself for it. As the weeks have gone on, my clothes hardly fit me at all, I’m down to a few tatty items that make me look like a tramp. I could squeeze into some other bits, but then I’d just look like a fat whore with no idea.

I even caught sight of myself on Saturday and I didn’t like what I saw. How can a man who’d spend months working hard, eating well and exercising, manage to undo all the good work, so spectacularly? It’s deeply depressing.

So, here goes. Again. If you’ve read any of my blogs before, you’re going to get a serious case of Deja Vous – and this is not going to be pretty.

I’ve got some cup soups (only 66 calories) and some of those be good to yourself meals to get my going. I’ve spent the last couple of months eating large portions of food loaded with fat, carbs and not much else. So the first step is training my body not to crave.

So I’m going to start on the 5-2 for a few weeks to give myself a little boost – on my non-fasting days I’ll eat things like soups and… fucking hell? I can’t even think of what I can eat. What’s wrong with me.

So I’m still to scared of finding out what the scales say. Might wait and do the weigh in tomorrow morning. Yeah. I’ll do that.

Ladies; This. is. going. to. hurt.