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shutterstock_116252986There is nothing more irritating to find that something you hold true is actually bullshit.

I’m not talking about that relationship we all thought would last forever, or the guy who pretends to be a power top, but turn out to be a sissy bottom – I’m talking about the scales of doom that sit at the home of my Cambridge Consultant…But Lets back track (like all good Tarantino films, I thought I’d start this blog at the start of the third act)

So today has gone well, I totally slept through my alarm – or to accurate, I turned it off while I was dreaming about something more important. Actually, isn’t it funny how when you want to get back into a dream it rarely happens. Sometimes it’s just best to masturbate and then get on with your day. I did have a headache, now, I’m not sure if that was because I was tired or because of Cambridge – I had headaches in the first week of Sole Source in October and since this is Week One take 2, then I guess it’s not unexpected – like the nasty runny shit that I’d totally forgotten about. Nice.

So after rushing into work, I didn’t have breakfast – so settled for a coffee (of which throughout the day I would have 4.. or 5?) I did learn that there are 2g of carbs in skimmed milk. Like my life isn’t difficult enough! (for those who are new to this blog, I am a proper drama queen. I shouldn’t say this but my poor (poor because he has to put up with me) bf does call my “queeny”..

So after that bombshell, I had quite a busy day, but that didn’t stop me and the girls obsessing over calories. If we had an actual watercooler – that would be so fucking cool. Anyway, I literally had a Cambridge Chicken and Mushroom soup all day, which isn’t as nice as it sounds – I did though manage to increase my water intake though, so I’m up to about 2 litres as I write this and I’ll have another bottle (750ml) before I go to bed.

I’ve not had urges to snack, which is good – but then I did get my fill last night in Quality Street.

So this evening I went back to my Cambridge Consultant to pick up some Water flavouring (life saver) and some packs to get me through until I see her again on Saturday morning. Before I left I got on the scales at work that we are using for our Biggest Loser competition – well, I’d only lost 5lbs. Yes, I know  – I’m amazing. Or so I thought.

After nearly getting hit by cars on my bike to get to my CWP (Cambridge Weight Plan for those in the cheap seats at the back) weigh in – and then deciding that the path would be better – I’m seriously never making that trip again on a weekday evening – I got there and stepped on the scales – I was 16st 9lb – now I was showing as 16st 2lbs at work. So now I don’t have a fucking clue. I am inclined to think that the fatter of the two is more accurate, because the scales are on a hard floor and even though they’ve been cruel to me in the past, just like when I’m guessing how much I’ve spent on those 0898 numbers, I like to overestimate so if I’m wrong it’s always a nice surprise, but I can’t expect miracles to happen overnight.

I’ve finished my culinary adventure with a chocolate mint shake, which immediately led to me a nice long trip in the toilet. Though I did get to read a few pages from The Hobbit. Multi-tasking – Told you, amazing.

I have though made a pledge to not just lose weight but to get back into running – I used to be a half-decent distance runner in the past and after talking to a colleague this week, I really miss it. So I’m going to dust of my trainers and squeeze back into my runner gear – where you can totally see my testicles – yeah, I know right.

Till next time you sexy people