As some of you know, I’ve been a non-smoker for 16 days now – and unlike all the previous times I’ve quit (and believe me, there’s been plenty of them) I actually don’t miss my old friend Nick O’teen; well that’s a bit of a lie – I’m on the patches and without them I’d probably turn into Roseanne from She-Devil. (without the hairy mole)


Anyway, My doctors Surgery run this programme, by which a patient sees the nurse regularly they can get patches on the NHS. So I cycled down to, what I like to call, smoking club this morning so the nurse could smell my fingers and I could get some more patches. I’d mentioned to her that I was on the Cambridge Diet and she said to me “Is that the one where you don’t eat” – yeah that’s it. I assured her that I think it’s working – Poor thing, she wasn’t convinced.

After we’d chatted and she’d taken my blood pressure (I’ve had high BP issues in the past few years, which has been my catalyst for wanting to drop the weight and the fags as I’ve flat out refused to go on medication for it, as it gives… umm.. basically is ruins a person’s sex drive – and since I’m a chronic masturbater It was a very simple “lifestyle choice”.

So, as I was leaving the nurse ran out and said “let me take your weight”, I hesitated for a second, partly because I know that since I’d taken two days off the plan this week that I wouldn’t like what I’d see – What if I’d put on weight? Those shreddies weren’t looking so tasty now..

So I go back, and got on the scales – first thought – Metric? WFT? Second thought, That can’t be right – That really can’t be right – 104 kilos, “I’m going to put it as 103 because of your clothing”. – I ask what’s 103kg in Stone and pounds? – “about 16, well I’ll see you in a few weeks”; I was dismissed like a naughty school girl who’d been caught smoking behind the bikesheds or noshing off that Maths teach I always fancied, but I won’t even go there. As I’m leaving the doctors I rummage for my phone – and straight onto google – ‘ 103kg in pounds and stone’ – 16st. 2lbs. WHAT?!

I wanted to go back and say, ‘can we do that again?’ there is no way that I’ve lost a stone in 10 days. No fucking way.

So, I’ve decided to take a moment, and a step back, as a colleague of mine reminded me earlier, all scales are different, so the only weight that I’m going to measure as godspell is the one that I have from the consultant, which isn’t until next Wednesday.

So I’m not going to celebrate until I see it on a digital scale in stones and pounds. (I’m at G’s this weekend, so I’ll have a proper check then)

However, it’s given me such a boost – I chose to celebrate with the Maple and Pecan Porridge. (Very rock n roll, I know)

I still haven’t learned to measure the water properly and as I should have learned in the last 10 days, measuring by eye doesn’t work, so my porridge looked more like slop – but I’m getting used to it now.

It’s a Relationship

Dieting is all about changing a person’s relationship with food. That’s what Carol Vorderman said (so it must be true) and frankly I believe her. This diet is a means to an end, but the challenge comes from keep it sustained – and it’s not about “sustaining the diet”, Jesus, I couldn’t imagine living off this crap for the rest of my life – it’s about keeping weight sustained – understanding how easy it is to pile it back on and how difficult it is to loose it. I’ve started thinking, What do I do when I get to my goal weight? First of all, It’s about keeping it in check, I’m not going to wait until I’ve split my jeans while doing my Tina Turner in G-A-Y before thinking “Oh crap, not again” – Second of all it’s about knowing myself and having realistic expectations. For example, I’m never going to have sex with a fit muscle guy, unless I look like one (or I find a chubby chaser – which is unlikely)

All joking aside, it just comes down to portion size. Eating the right foods and knowing that if I eat 6000 calories and don’t burn them off I’m going to get fat. God, it’s not rocket science. I’ve had the will power to kick the fags so lets see if I can surprise myself with this 🙂

Speaking of portion sizes – Let me tell you about the 2 eggs and spring onion I had this evening – Well, I overcooked the eggs. Wasn’t the best – I had a few peppermint teas this evening too, so hopefully I’m drinking a bit more water – I was hungry when it came to shake time, but I spend half an hour on the phone switching my electricity supplier (thanks for nothing British Gas) and so didn’t have my shake until after half 8, I opted for an old favourite Chocolate Mint – So I don’t think I’m going to go to bed hungry.

Though I’ll leave you with this thought – are skinny people hungry all the time?

Till tomorrow x