First of all, apologies to all those who have been following this blog. I got quite poorly over the weekend and spent and couple of days doing nothing but watching reruns of Doctor Who and eating non-cambridge approved food. Which basically meant I ate food I really liked! So there really wasn’t much to write about; And stories about snot don’t sell, unless of course you’ve seen The Garbage Pail Kids Movie, in which case – I tip my hat to you …

29_GarbagePailKids_LeakyLindsay_500-whiteTo keep you up to speed here’s a quick low down of what you’ve missed (or didn’t miss):

Day 7 – Sunday 13th October 2013

Today was my weigh in day! So to maximise the results I decided not to have my porridge and to have just a peppermint tea, I’d not been for a number 2 either, so I was hoping to dispel that before going to see my consultant. – unfortunately, all the pushing didn’t help. My weigh is was at 10am and I’d lost 6lbs! I’m now 16st. 10lbs – Which is great news. I was really pleased with that. I’d hoped when I embarked on this that I’d lost a bit more in this first week as it’s supposed to be the week that people loose the most and It would have been great to loose more (obviously), but nevertheless,

One of the good things about having a consultant isn’t just the weigh in and the food pick up, (and also some who I’m (to some degree) accountable too) it’s the additional support that they are able to give. I told Sharon about hashtag-ToastGate and she said that if I was needing to eat something that I should choose a food that is high is protein and very low in carbs to maintain ketosis. She normally keeps crab sticks or ham in the fridge, so if she’s feeling peckish she’ll have a bite. So that afternoon I picked up some ham.

I’d been feeling under the weather since I’d gotten back from my video games expo on Saturday and later in the afternoon it really started to come on – By the evening I was a mess.

Day 8 – Monday 14th October 2013

Headaches, chills, congestion. (not my ideal threesome) I couldn’t even get out of bed – Eventually I crawled to the kitchen and made myself some Apple and Cinnamon porridge. I’m not a massive Apple lover, but have been told it’s nice so I thought I’d give it a try. It wasn’t too bad; it’s better than the plain one anyway. But since I was feeling poorly, I ended up using it as an excuse to eat normal food.  Cambridge food was not going to be on the menu.

Katie Hopkins was also on This Morning talking some bollocks about how it’s okay to call your fat kid “fat”. Basically, I needed to get back to work, because that woman makes me want to kill myself, and in my opinion, the powdered shite with flavour wasn’t going to help me get better.

Day 9 – Tuesday 15th October 2013

More of the same. Stayed off the Cambridge food. I did try the chocolate chewy bar though as a snack. It’s not great, the chocolate is cheap and it’s not very filling. Though it does say on the bar to have it with a glass of water. I think the trick to the Cambridge Diet is to drink so much water that any food basically makes you sick. Great British Bake off was on last night too, One of my favourite shows (Kimberley to win, please) but the show does make me hungry. Being a fan of food shows and being on this Cambridge Weight Plan is just ASKING for trouble.

Also, since I’ve been on normal food, I’ve been shitting through the eye of a needle and farting like a bad Family Guy joke. I much preferred it when I only went for a number 2 every other day.

Day 10 – Wednesday 16th October 2013

Back at work and back on the diet. I’d probably have some serious reservations, as I’m basically starting again – I looked at the scales this morning as I got out of the shower, but decided not to step on them. If I have put any weight on, then hopefully it would have been lost before I get my next weigh in. I emailed Sharon and moved my weigh in day to next Wednesday. I’ve done this for a couple of reasons, the first is that if I have put on weight, which is entirely possible – it’s not uncommon for fat people to lose 10 pounds in a month and regain them in a week; then again it’s not uncommon for fat people to consider chips a vegetable. (and before I get lots of Angry tweets from Ben and Jerry’s addicts with a sense of humour problem, yes, I am talking about you) – anyway, the original point I was making, is that I don’t have any massive reservations about getting on the wagon. I know what to expect, and I think that because I was only off the diet for a couple of days, readjustment shouldn’t be too much of a problem.

So after getting to work, I started with another Apple and Cinnamon Porridge, which I’m getting a taste for. I have been having trouble today drinking enough water, I’m finding that I’m forcing it down, which isn’t the best thing – I’ve had a few black teas, but again, leaving half a mug each time – because I’m playing a bit of catch up; I’m not really thinking about food, and so I didn’t have my Oriental Chilli Soup until about half 1. I made it a little thicker this time, and it’s gone down great. As the day has gone on, I haven’t felt anything like the hunger I did when I begun this diet 10 days ago, and despite sort of starting again, it’s not been to bad today.

When I got home, I did my usual – put my bike away, take off my jacket, go to the fridge and torture myself. Since I’ve become accustomed over the last couple of days to actual food-food I was starting to feel the need need for anything other than a soup or a shake, so I looked at my “allowed” food list. I didn’t want to take the piss, so I cooked myself 2 eggs, which I scrambled with a tiny nob of butter sprinkled with 4 chopped spring onions, of course tons of pepper (got a bit a of a pepper fetish at the moment). I’m allowed large eggs, but these were medium, I contemplated having 3, but was able to control the urge.

Whoever said that it wasn’t dramatic picking a number of eggs to eat clearly wasn’t on a very low calorie diet.

Just after 8 I decided to end my somewhat flaccid culinary journey with a banana shake, made with 225ml water, with 8 ice cubes – blended up, the consistency was perfect, just like a McDonald’s shake (which I’ve come to see as the benchmark of all milkshakes) – the flavour was good, but again slightly grainy in texture. I’d like to think that when I go to sleep tonight I’m not going to go to bed hungry, but I’ll be dreaming of breakfast. As the day has gone on, I’ve come to understand that this really is day 1 (version 2.0)

I can also say that today I didn’t get enough water, it’s making me feel sick – I’m forcing it down at the moment. So I’m going to definitely get some of the Cambridge over-priced water flavourings next week.